Dating is a different type of monster!
That’s the conclusion I’ve made. It isn’t as simple as it seems. When I say dating, I don’t mean the difficulty in finding someone. For I feel like whatever you do, wherever you go you are bound to meet people, especially if you’re a woman. All it takes is a pic or two in a dating site and the suitors come flying like bees to a hive. Even in your every day to day life, whether it be at work, a simple stop at the grocery store, or one of those crazy girls’ night. (You know which ones, don’t pretend you don’t). Alas, the monster of dating isn’t in the act of meeting people, it’s in the type of people that you end up meeting. While I’m aware that the same can be applied to men who are dating, I’m talking from my experiences, and from a friends. So, don’t take it personal gentleman, but this one is for you ladies.
Here are the types of men that I have encountered in my lifetime and hope to help you look out for in the future.
I know it’s self-explanatory, and yet quite common. You would expect that this type of man isn’t attractive, which would explain his desperation. However, most of the time they are indeed good looking. These are the ones who draw you in with not only their good looks, but also their charming personality. Where even the ladies who’ve lost all hope for love start to think they have found someone that they freely connect with. You share interests, and even have a fairly good conversation going, suddenly BAM! out of nowhere it’s a full 360. He tells you he’s so horny and you’re so pretty that he can’t help himself but want to have sex with you, even though you’ve talked for maybe an hour or so. Thankfully, I’m not the expert on this one, these are the accounts of a certain friend of mine with a FUCK ME sign tattooed to her forehead. These guys are the thirty-year old’s who are trying to live out their twenties again.
There’s this myth that women don’t like nice guys. While I can attest that not all women have the same taste, and quite frankly some women aren’t nice either, this isn’t always the case. But this is for the good women out there who genuinely want a good man in their life. Unfortunately, sometimes the nice guy isn’t what you’re getting. You know which ones I’m talking about. The ones who start out as the perfect gentleman, even proclaiming that they are nice guys and just have had bad luck with dating.
This may well be true. In my experience though, someone doesn’t show that they are nice by pretty words, they show with actions. Nevertheless, these men will put up the facade of being nice, respecting your boundaries, taking you out on nice dates, doing things you like, and even enjoying them. They’ll play the perfect part until things don’t go their way. Sometimes denying them a kiss on the first date will trigger a sign of their true face. It will start with a simple remark, and with time they’ll start blaming you for why things don’t work out. They’ll go as far as play victim to everyone with pretense of being a gentleman while making you into the bad guy.
These types of men are sometimes difficult to track. At first, they are consistently telling you good morning, and saying goodnight. They spend weeks talking to you as soon as the sun rises until it sets. While true this type of attitude might seem normal, it might show he’s really interested in you, but is that truly the case? This type of attitude at the beginning, from experience is a red flag. This is the typical behavior of someone who wants to get to the finish line as fast as if he had somewhere to be. It’s all sunshine and rainbows until time passes. Once this happens, he starts texting and checking up on you less and less. He no longer constantly talks to you or ask to go out on dates. No. Instead you find you are doing all the calling and texting. Calls, and texts that take him a day or two to answer when previously he answered them quickly.
You chalk it up to him being busy with something else. He may be working more often, or he’s with family whatever it may be. You make up a story in your mind to justify his sudden change of attitude. However, if that were the case, why wasn’t he like this from the beginning? The worst part is when he does respond or show up, he acts as if nothing is wrong. Not to mention he comes back at the most random of times. It plays out as if you are his back up girl. He keeps you around for the moment his first choice doesn’t quite work out for him. As far as I’m concerned ladies, someone who starts out hot and then suddenly is cold, he may not be as into you as you would hope. Frankly, this guy you want to make the one, but you deserve someone who puts in as much effort as you do.
This guy?
He’s extremely good looking, but not much of interesting conversation comes out. It’s not you, you make every effort to have a genuinely interesting conversation. Asking questions to keep him on his toes. However, his answers are either yes or no and his attempt at keeping the conversation going is by asking how you are doing daily and not having much to say back once answered. There’s not much there and you wonder what had prompted you to go on a date in the first place. I get it, sometimes what you get on paper is different then what you get in person, but this guy is word for word. Of course, this is not telling you that a dull dreamboat can’t be your prince charming, it’s possible. This is in the off chance you’d like to avoid them if you’re looking for an adventure.
Careers are essentially one of the most important things in one’s life. You spend a good quarter of your youth studying a path you hope to be an end. There’s nothing wrong with that, dating with a career driven individual can be a little overwhelming. Especially if that individual makes work a priority over your date. There’s a saying that money doesn’t buy happiness. Some people like to believe that work and climbing the cooperate latter, or whichever latter it may be, could bring you everything your heart desires.
When it comes to dating, it might not be the perfect equation. I think it’s a little too much when instead of concentrating on your date you end up half the time looking at your phone, and the other half asking to be excused because an important work call needs attending to. The worst part of it all, is as he goes out to make this call, every doubt you had in your mind escalates. Now you understand why it took him a day to answer your text. Here you thought he was simply not that interested, or he had someone else. The reality was his work is his life. It’s not saying that this person can’t put you ahead of work, it’ll take time to adjust and a hell of a lot of patience. But if you’ve got that, you’re good to go.
Ladies I am sure there are plenty of other types of men to look out for, but these are the ones that I’ve come across during my time of dating. It’s easy to fabricate a persona at first to fool those around them. Sometimes it’s just bad luck. So Please ladies don’t ever think there is something wrong with you because you attract these types of people. Don’t stop dating either because in the long run while there a lot of bad apples out there, there are also good ones just waiting for you to be discovered. Sometimes it’s hard to decipher which one you’re going to get, and I wish I could tell you that you’re not going to end up with either of these. Let’s face it, it’s going to happen. I hope these signs will help your crossing with them
